Casting off the past… embracing the future

I, along with many others, have a habit of hanging on to possessions that are meaningless and unnecessary, in the grand scheme of life.

Circumstances over the years mean I have moved several times in as many years. Not that I am avoiding anyone, but house moves have happened. Every time I move I find myself packing the same possessions into boxes and taking them with me, books, ornaments, gadgets and clothes. All of which get unpacked in my new home, most never get looked at again until it comes time to pack them up for the next move.

How many hours have I spent wrapping and unwrapping, packing and unpacking said items.

What a waste of time, effort and money. The stuff I took with me when we moved to Spain. We lived in 3 properties while there… and then I brought them all back.

So, time has come to move again. A fresh start, a new man, a new life… so, what to do with the old possessions.

Well, each time I move I de-clutter, sometimes a little and sometimes a lot. But, I still have a sideboard full of stuff that was put in there a year ago and hasn’t seen the light of day since.

I am sure that, despite the fact that I still like some of my furniture a lot, it nudges subliminal memories of my now failed marriage, the scratches on the dining table a reminder that I used to be a dog owner, but no more … a consequence of my husband dalliances and the ultimate separation that followed.

So, this time it is mega-serious downsizing. I considered putting my furniture into storage. I don’t need any of it where I am going, and indeed none of it would fit in size or style. Maybe I should hang on to it… just in case.

NO! I am no longer a just in case type of girl. I am a positive, make the most of what the future holds. I have a back-up plan in my mind and it does not include hoarding furniture I will not have need of in the future.

And if I do, I will treat myself to some new old stuff, but I can cross that bridge if and when it becomes necessary. This is a new start, a chance to move my life into a new phase without dragging all the usual baggage along with me.

Today I made the phone call, arranged for a heart charity to come and collect my stuff (quite fitting considering I have my any pacemaker check tomorrow.) They will sell it and let me know how much my donation has raised for them. Do I feel sad at the thought of my possessions being removed in this way? Not a bit, in fact it is somehow cathartic. Part of the healing process. I am embracing the change, I am calm about the whole process of moving on. Never have I felt this sure of the unknown.

And so, once again, I am being responsible for my own happiness, I am making decisions that feel right and I have no regrets.

How long this positive woman will be inside me driving me on is unknown, but for now, I like her. She is feeling very much a driving force that I have been missing for so long. Yes, I like this new me. Long me she remain.

Quote for the day: Don’t be said that it’s over… be happy that it happened!

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Rainbows and Stars

rainbow

 

This caught my eye and seems a lovely little saying when times are tough to bring the focus back to a more positive feeling. After all, I always smile when I see rainbows and stars.

On a clear night there is nothing better than driving to the middle of no-where, where there are no street lights and houses and staring upwards. The layer upon layer of stars is magical.

My new daily mantra… I am responsible for my own happiness… so, time to start being happy!

Every now and again something inspirational comes along and gives you a boot up the backside. It’s easy to let life slip into drudgery, when you think that you are being badly done to, and then you see something that makes you feel so pathetic for wallowing in your own little misery when actually, compared to others, your life isn’t all that bad.

Welcome to my world.

I had a tough year, I was wallowing in the past and what had gone wrong when actually I should be looking forward to what is possible and, more to the point, what I am able to control.

I came across a quote a week ago while reading a self-help book on boosting self-confidence, after all, mine has taken quite a hit recently. The quote said ‘When one door closes another one opens’ (yes, I know, we’ve all heard that one before, but there was more), it went on to say, ‘more often people dwell on the happenings and negativity of the door that closed, rather than the positives and the possibilities available through the new door that is opening.’

Wow, was that true. I was so focused on what had happened and why, none of which I could change, I wasn’t looking at what new adventures and possibilities were available to me… just waiting for me to grab the opportunities and start to be happy again.

That quote sat at the back of my mind, each morning it passed fleetingly though my mind’s eye… and then it was gone. It wanted to be important to me, but I wasn’t quite there yet.

Then yesterday I watched the C Word on iPlayer… wow! No one watching could have failed to be moved by the story of Lisa Lynch and her husband, Pete, but what an inspirational young woman. I know many people have such illnesses to deal with and each deals with it in their own way. I would like to think I could be equally as strong, but I’m not sure I could be.

But, I do not have a terminal illness, I have potentially years ahead of me and what this program has done for me is that is has finally made me focus on the future ahead and not the rubbish that I have been wallowing in for the last however long.

I have blogged before, and so I decided I would blog again, but rather than pick up on previous blogs with memories of the past which drag me back to the black hole of the past, I decided the time was right for a new start in all things, including my blog.

So here it is, new blog, new platform, new day.

Day 1 of my new mantra… I am responsible for my own happiness, no one else is…

Time to start being happy!